


Truth

by CoffeeQuill



Series: Kingdom Come [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Confessions, Deep Conversations, Demigod AU, Demigod Alex, Demigod John, Demigod Lafayette, Demigods, Emotional Conversations, Happy Ending, M/M, Mention of Domestic Violence, Self-Doubt, Suspicions of Infidelity, invasive thoughts, mention of divorce, secrecy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 21:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15957566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeQuill/pseuds/CoffeeQuill
Summary: John didn’t know what to do. This anxious feeling would not leave him, but Lafayette wouldn’t discuss the prayers he was answering and it left him feeling sick. He retired early that night, but only stared at the ceiling for hours, even after Lafayette came to bed.He didn’t understand why this made him feel so awful. Lafayette had left to answer prayers before, so why was this any different?





	Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all.
> 
> Since I'm trying to get back into this demigod au again, I decided to write a little thing. Some folks on tumblr were interested in it being posted, so here it is!
> 
> To clarify, before this fic begins: In Savior, it is mentioned that Lafayette and John cannot be intimate because Laf would hurt him and it's not physically possible. It's a small detail, but relatively significant, so I went back and changed that line because I decided I like it this way better. Instead, they aren't intimate because Laf doesn't want to take advantage.
> 
> With that out of the way, enjoy.

The sun shone bright above them and the water was glistening, a light breeze sending ripples across the water. The seven demigods were gathered around the picnic table, dishes being set out and stomachs growling.

Philip reached for a plate of sandwiches, then cried out as Eliza swatted his hand away. “Mama!” he whined. “I’m hungryyyy!”

“We can all eat in a moment, Pip,” John said with a smile. He put down a plate of sliced watermelon, then looked up at he felt a hand on his waist. Lafayette stepped in beside him and took a piece of watermelon, popping it into his mouth. “Laf!”

“Shh.” Lafayette smiled and swallowed before kissing him. “Just one piece.”

“You’re worse than Pip,” John grumbled, but the second kiss was quite effective in earning forgiveness. John leaned into Lafayette’s embrace and they smiled at each other.

“Okay, you two, quit with the romantic mush.” Hercules smirked at them, settling on the other side of the bench. “We’d like to eat here.”

They both made a face at him before taking a seat. Plates were passed around and John reached for the fruit --

Lafayette’s hand was on his shoulder. “Have to go,” he said abruptly. He glanced across the table, at Alexander and Hercules. “Emergency prayer. I’ll be right back.”

He disappeared in a flash of golden light, and John frowned. Alex and Hercules looked at each other, but didn’t say a word, beginning to fill their plates. Their expressions, though, seemed odd and John shifted in his seat. “Do you know where he’s gone?” John asked. “He usually sends an angel.”

Alexander shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Some prayers are worth handling yourself.”

John frowned. An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach, and he nibbled on a strawberry, suddenly feeling a lot less ravenous. He wasn’t quite sure why he felt this way, because Lafayette had disappeared before to answer a follower’s prayer. But Washington had recently gifted Lafayette with his own angels and they were usually sent in his place.

Lafayette preferred spending time with John, after all.

Soon their picnic was eaten and packed up. John was quick to save a plate for Lafayette, though as the minutes ticked past, he was growing more anxious. Prayers didn’t last this long. They were usually quick fixes, disputes that needed a mediator. John took a deep breath as they all sat by the water.

“John? Are you okay?” Alexander asked. He sat beside John with Philip in his lap, dozing off in his father’s arms.

John let out his breath in a long sigh. “I don’t know why it is, but Laf isn’t back yet, and it’s giving me a bad feeling. It doesn’t take this long.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. He’ll be back soon, alright?”

John looked at Alex, his warm expression, heard the surety in his voice. John forced a smile and nodded, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Right,” he said, though it did nothing for his nerves.

Lafayette did return, just a few minutes later. He gave John a loving smile, sat beside him and gave him a gentle kiss. “Disagreement between my priests,” he said, wrapping an arm around John’s waist. “Took some time to settle.”

John nodded and handed him the saved plate. Lafayette thanked him, gave a gentle tug on his curls, and began to eat. John leaned against him and tried to push his troubling thoughts away.

\-----------------

When Lafayette disappeared again, only two days had passed. He and John were looking through Hercules’ shop, admiring his latest creations. John marveled at all the items humanity had yet to invent, from weapons to tools to clothing. He was holding a silken blue tunic when there was a flash of light and Lafayette vanished.

John looked over and frowned. He set the tunic back down. “He doesn’t go this often. Is it the same person?”

Hercules didn’t look up. “You would have to ask him.”

John frowned. He walked over and leaned against the workbench. “Something about it doesn’t feel right,” he said. “I don’t know. He usually tells me about prayers, but he said barely anything about that last one, and I don’t know that he’ll do it this time.”

Hercules shrugged. “I don’t know, John. We don’t usually pry about each other’s business. Some things, you don’t discuss.”

John didn’t feel satisfied, felt quite the opposite, because Lafayette  _ always  _ told him about the prayers he answered. They weren’t on the ‘don’t discuss’ list, and well, there wasn’t really such a list. They talked about everything.

Right?

When Lafayette returned just minutes later, he looked… worn. John wondered what the hell could have happened in such a short time to make his lover look so exhausted. But he didn’t offer an explanation, just smiled at John. He glanced at Hercules. “Another one,” he said.

Hercules nodded.

John felt very out of the loop.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Nothing of importance, darling.” Lafayette reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Lunch?”

\--------------------

John didn’t know what to do. This anxious feeling would not leave him, but Lafayette wouldn’t discuss the prayers he was answering and it left him feeling sick. He retired early that night, but only stared at the ceiling for hours, even after Lafayette came to bed.

He didn’t understand why  _ this  _ made him feel so awful. Lafayette had left to answer prayers before, so why was this any different?

Lafayette  _ told him  _ about those prayers, he supposed, and not these recent ones. Past prayers usually had Lafayette returning to groan about the ridiculousness of human affairs. How his workers were still treated so poorly when it was known they had a deity. Now, though, it was barely a few words of discussion, and when John asked, he was told to not waste a thought on it.

It was near morning when he finally slipped into a dream.

When he woke, sunlight was streaming through the windows and the bed was cold. John rubbed his eyes and sat up, looking around at the empty bedroom. He stretched his arms, felt his back crack, and stood. He climbed out of bed and walked to the wardrobe to change--

Voices came from outside, hushed but audible.

The door was nearly shut but not enough, words still filtering through. John frowned, then walked over. He leaned against the wall beside the door, straining to listen.

“I cannot  _ not  _ go.” Lafayette, sounding stressed. “His parents are separating. He wants my comfort. I cannot deny him when he prays.”

Someone sighed. Alexander. “John will get suspicious if you don’t space this out enough.”

“He already is.” A third voice, John recognized it as Hercules’. “Be honest with him, Laf. However he reacts is on him. If you simply told Washington what you’re doi-”

“No!” It was a sharp hiss from both Lafayette and Alex. 

“Are you insane?” Alex demanded. “If Washington knows, that’s the last straw. Strike three, no matter how many you had before. He will cast Lafayette out, and likely John with him.”

“I made a mistake,” Lafayette said. His voice became soft. “I know that. But I cannot just ignore Elias, for it would be far more cruel than allowing myself to become involved in the first place. I would prefer John to not know, and Washington certainly cannot.”

Hercules sighed. “If you get caught, I had no knowledge of it.”

“I will not be. It has been years, and I have not slipped yet.”

Their conversation turned to other matters and John took a step away from the wall. He took a deep, deep breath, and let it out. Eavesdropping, he knew, was never a good thing and it was far too easy to misinterpret what he heard. But his mind was racing.

Lafayette was doing something secret, and he didn’t want John to know.

It made his stomach twist. As he dressed himself, he tried to not feel panic creeping in. The name  _ Elias  _ stuck in his mind and suddenly John wondered if it was another boy. A human boy, like him, who Lafayette had become infatuated with.

The thought sent a knife through his heart, and once his mind found that path, it was like stumbling down a rabbit hole.

_ What do you plan to do when you finally grow tired of him? You have done it many, many times before, tossing away the toys you claim devotion to. _

Washington’s words had stuck in his mind from the day he arrived here, and they were a source of anxiety that he thought he had finally buried. He squeezed his eyes shut and slumped into a chair.

Lafayette had a tendency of sleeping around before he met John. He knew that, because every demigod outside of their circle had seemed intent on making it clear to John that he was just the latest in a long line of lovers. It had made him anxious, upset, to hear the implication that he’d be thrown away, too. That he was nothing special.

But he was still here, and Lafayette still showed him love each night, as if their affection had not ceased in the slightest. John wondered if there had been a relationship before their encounter.

The thought made his stomach turn again. No, he wouldn’t let himself fall down that path, had to keep a clear head. Lafayette had plans for the day and John would just have to talk to him when he returned. They would just talk it through. No ridiculous assumptions. Just transparency.

\-------------------

It wasn’t easy. John had planned lunch with Eliza, but when that rolled around, he felt too ill to go. Demigods didn’t become  _ physically  _ sick, but his emotions were so high that it sure felt like he was. He curled up in bed with a book, hoping to distract from his anxious thoughts, but he couldn’t focus on the words.

What if Lafayette  _ had  _ turned to another? What if John wasn’t enough, but they’d come too far to turn back? He couldn’t go home. He couldn’t bear to have a taste of the life of a demigod and be sent back to a mortal one. This had become his  _ everything  _ and to have it all reversed--

When Lafayette returned, arrow in hand, John felt uncomfortable in his own skin. He sat in bed and forced a smile as Lafayette placed his arrow in his quiver, but his lover just looked concerned.

“John?” he asked. “I saw Eliza on the walk home. She said you didn’t show for lunch. Is everything alright?”

More guilt pulled at John. He’d just stayed in their room, hadn’t even  _ bothered  _ to tell Eliza he wasn’t coming. Gods, he was awful. He made a small whimper in his throat.

Lafayette frowned. He set his bow on its pegs and walked over, setting a knee on their bed. “My love? What is it?”

John tried to keep his voice steady. “I am fine,” he said.

It was certainly the worst lie he’d ever told and he didn’t think it could have been less convincing. Lafayette frowned and sat beside him, their knees touching, and he took John’s hand. “Tell me what troubles you, darling, and I’ll make it right.”

John let out a sigh, his shoulders deflating, squeezing his eyes shut. Tears threatened to well up but he swallowed down the lump in his throat. “W-We need to t...talk,” he said. He rubbed at his eyes. “I… I have been thinking all day, and it just  _ feels  _ awful, because it gets worse and worse in my mind but I do not even know if it’s  _ reasonable.  _ If I’m just going insane and jumping to ridiculous conclusions.”

Lafayette frowned, rubbing his thumb over the back of John’s hand. “It is always dangerous when you are alone with your thoughts,” he said. “What conclusions are you coming to?”

John swallowed hard. “You still love me, right?” he asked, and Lafayette squeezed his hand, looking confused. “B-Because, you say you do and act like you do, but there is an annoying little voice in my head that says otherwise, because  _ everyone  _ has said otherwise. Jefferson and Madison and Lee, all of them, they kept saying you’d get tired. You’d get bored. And  _ Washington,  _ too, he said I was another infatuation, just another lover you’d lose interest in. Now you’re disappearing, and you won’t tell me anything about what you’re doing, and--”

Lafayette sat up straighter, started to speak, but John cut him off. He wanted to talk, wanted to let his thoughts spill out, because they’d been trapped in his head all day and it made him want to scream.

“Wait! Just wait. With all that, it’s so, it’s so hard to not -- to not just  _ believe  _ them. Believe the majority. Because when you’re a human and your lover is disappearing, not telling you things, it… it only ever means one thing. And I’m scared that that’s what this is, and I don’t want to think about it, but it’s all I’ve been able to do all day. I heard you talking to Alex and Herc this morning, about not telling me, and someone’s name, and…” Tears flooded his eyes and he sniffed. “Please tell me I’m going crazy. That you are not going to someone else.”

Lafayette gazed at him, a few moments of silence stretching between them, before he squeezed John’s hand. “My darling boy,” he whispered. “You thought…”

John was pulled into a kiss, one that felt so deep and loving. He was tugged close and he didn’t need any direction, climbing into Lafayette’s lap, until they were pressed as close as possible.

“I wish you had told me this sooner, my love, so I could have spared you from this anguish.” Lafayette pressed a kiss to his cheek, holding him tight. “I promised you, John, that you would be my only focus and I would meet your expectations. I intend to keep my promise. There is no one else, darling, I assure you that you’ve misunderstood.”

Relief sank into John’s bones and he slumped against Lafayette’s chest, feeling nothing but utter joy. A bit of shame creeped in that he’d ever doubted his lover. “Where have you been going?” he whispered.

Lafayette ran his fingers through John’s hair. “... It is a sensitive subject, John, and a dangerous thing,” he murmured. “I will tell you, but I hope you’ll swear to not reveal it to another.”

“I swear,” John said.

Lafayette cupped his cheek, then sighed. “Perhaps it is better to show you,” he said. “Hold on.”

John tightened his arms around Lafayette’s neck as they teleported. Wind seemed to rush around them as they left their bed, their bedroom disappearing. Warm summer air tickled John’s skin and he looked up, then around.

They were sitting in the middle of a field, just outside a human settlement. It was backed against a forest, the homes separated from the trees only by the meadow. For a moment, John wondered if they had come to Charleston, but this village was far too small.

“Where are we?”

“Hymn Creek.” Lafayette smoothed a curl behind John’s ear before urging him to stand. As they both stood, their hands joined and John was led forth, towards the village.

John looked around at the lightning bugs as they fluttered past. Lafayette’s arrow had been retrieved and the only light came from the houses and Lafayette himself. John clung to that light, ever enchanted by it, until they stopped and his hand was squeezed.

“There,” Lafayette said. He pointed towards the home ahead of them, one large window facing them. “See them?”

John frowned. Through the window, he could spy a woman and a young boy, maybe six years old, seated at a table. They were eating together, and after a moment, the woman retrieved their plates and walked away.

“I do not understand,” John said. “Who are they?”

“The woman’s name is Sophia,” Lafayette said. “The boy is her son, Elias, who has been praying to me. They are my fifth- and sixth-generation descendants.”

John stared at Lafayette, mouth agape in shock. “Y… Your descendants!” he cried. “You’ve had children? This was your secret? You couldn’t tell me about this?”

Lafayette grasped John’s hands, eyes cast to the ground. “Forgive me, my sweetheart, but this situation is far graver than you may realize. Washington, or  _ any  _ demigod,  _ cannot _ know about this.”

John took a deep breath. His chest felt tight. “You’ve had children,” he repeated. “You were with a woma-- tell me the story.”

Lafayette continued to appear ashamed. “You know I was not very…  _ chaste  _ before I met you,” he said. “As others have made you aware. I had very little self control, seeking pleasure and thrill where I could find it. Alex and I were twin terrors to the elder gods, always running amongst the humans and taking in their thrills, always on the verge of making terrible mistakes. We took men and women for lovers, though it never lasted more than a few days, as we would become bored quickly and move on.”

John frowned. Yes, the other demigods had been quick to point out Lafayette’s past to him.

“Sometimes, I believed I had fallen in love, even if it was simply infatuation. But there was one girl, named Katherine, who I was smitten with. She was young and beautiful, like you, with golden hair and the bluest eyes.” Lafayette let out a sigh. “It was not a quick conquest, as many others were. It started slow, with romance. It turned into more, and through the haze, we were both reckless. When I sensed the life within her, it… was overwhelming.”

“What did you do?” John whispered.

“I fled.” Lafayette bit his lip. “For a demigod to be  _ born,  _ John, it -- it is  _ absolutely  _ forbidden. Since the creation of the universe, it has rarely occurred, and for good reason.”

John blinked. “But it was also forbidden for you to make  _ me  _ a demigod. How is it so different for one to be born?”

“It is in the implications, darling. When I transformed you, it was very… harmless. You were a blank slate with no true strength, only immortality. The powers you have now are learned and allowed. Born demigods, though, can inherit abilities from their parents, and there was no telling what mine could do. It is too unpredictable. Hence, you were allowed to stay.”

“Was the child born with such power?”

Lafayette nodded. “After I fled, I confided in Alex and Hercules. They convinced me to go back, to gain as much control of the situation as I could. The only  _ worse  _ option than ignoring it was to not know what I’d really done. So, I returned to Katherine and revealed myself to her. I explained as much as I could. I told her that while I could not be present in the child’s life without drawing suspicion, I would make sure they were comfortable. When our son was born, I could only wait and see what his powers were.”

Elias appeared again in the window. He sat at the table, writing in a book. John watched.

“He was able to manipulate sunlight to create matter,” Lafayette said. “When I made you that charm necklace? I was bending sun rays to form an object. He began to do it as a toddler, more or less forming rocks. As he got older, they became more shaped, turning into proper objects. It was a relief, really. I’d been afraid he’d be able to black out the sun or such.”

John looked up at him. “Do they know what they are?”

“My son did not know until Katherine died. I revealed myself to him then, when he was still a young man, and his reaction was… decent. It answered questions he had about who he was. As he had children, and they had children, and so on, it seems they are more human than divine now. Sophia knows, and she’s denounced it. She doesn’t want to be anything other than human. Elias knows, and he prays often.”

Lafayette fell quiet. “She is divorcing her husband,” he said. “He beats her often, and though she has a dislike for my presence, I was able to convince her through dreams to leave him. Elias has been praying so that I might comfort him when they have their arguments. I cannot bring myself to say no, though I fear he is becoming attached to me.”

John grimaced in sympathy, for both Sophia and Elias. He’d seen such situations far too often in Charleston. “He is small,” he said, “and his family life is unstable. He needs you to be a pillar.”

Lafayette nodded, pulled John close. He pressed a kiss to his hair.

John sighed. “I  _ truly  _ believed you could have been unfaithful,” he said. “You were  _ here,  _ but I thought -- well… perhaps you had moved on, and were not telling me. I feel like such a fool now.”

“Do not feel such a way, darling.” Lafayette cupped his cheek. “It was a logical conclusion in your situation. I was not being honest and you were surrounded by the words of others. I am glad you talked to me, though, before you decided to act on your belief.”

John managed a smile, and their lips met in a soft kiss. The moonlight shone down upon them, lighting up John’s gown.

“Alex was similarly reckless,” Lafayette murmured. “Before he settled with Eliza, of course. He had quite a rebellious streak and fathered numerous demigods. Lawrence Nells, William Henley, Joseph Spout--”

_ “Them?”  _ John grinned. “Oh, of course. They penned the greatest works of all time.”

“A fact that Alex would brag about, if it did not mean Washington would discover it.” Lafayette wrapped his arms around John’s waist. “If he knew about our offspring, he would wipe them from existence, as though they had never been born. Any achievements would cease to exist, and Alex would not be able to stand it. That is, if Washington wouldn’t extinguish us, as well.”

“No,” John whispered. “He can’t do that.”

“Right. So, the secret stays in our circle, and never steps out.”

“Does Eliza know?”

“She does. She dislikes it greatly, so it is never brought up, but she keeps the secret as well, for Alex’s sake. She knows he is faithful to her, and Philip is his focus.”

John nodded. Their eyes met, and Lafayette took his hands; John let out a giggle as he was twirled. He was pulled back into Lafayette’s arms and dropped into a dip. Their lips met in a deep kiss, and when he was pulled back up, he grabbed onto Lafayette’s tunic for balance.

“I love you,” he whispered. “So much. And I do not care if you keep coming back here. As long as you stay out of trouble.”

Lafayette smiled and kissed him a second time. “I am grateful to have your approval, dear boy. I swear that I have eyes only for you, for it is so difficult to even attempt looking away from such a beautiful soul. You look lovely in the moonlight.”

John blushed, and he buried his face in Lafayette’s chest to hide it. “Stop,” he whispered, grinning.

As they cuddled together, they were surrounded by the symphony of crickets, and all felt well again.

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on tumblr: coffee-quill.tumblr.com


End file.
